The odd and skewed notepad of Sasuke and Sakura
by mybabu
Summary: These are a collection of random one shots of Sasuke and Sakura, that happened into my head.
1. Payback

**Payback**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Payback, Sasuke decided there and then, was a bitch.

Naruto and Sakura however thought it was the greatest thing on God's green earth.

Now this is kind of odd, considering it was Sasuke who had sought revenge against his brother, for murdering his entire family. Naruto and Sakura should be the ones abhorring the idea of payback; it's what lost them their best friend for so many years.

But when did life ever decide that it would make sense?

"_You_ worthless piece of shit," shouted Naruto. "You're _so _luck you're already completely fucked, or I would beat the absolute crap out of you!"

Sasuke could only muster enough energy to glare at him and even narrowing his eyes hurt. He could only imagine how many panda's were gonna try and pick him up tomorrow.

"Hell, you don't even _deserve _our help!" he went on, "The most you've ever done is ditch us!!"

"And look how well I did," rasped Sasuke, his throat felt like sand-paper.

This, when you're not the one calling the shots, was not the wisest thing to say. This time it was Sakura who spoke. Except unlike the dobe, she didn't shout or threaten him. In fact the entire time Naruto had been monologue-ing, she had just stood there looking at him through her familiar green eyes.

"Still a wanker," said Sakura.

Sasuke didn't reply, only observed her. She still wasn't showing an obvious emotion, which was annoying. Sasuke always tried to read a person's body language and expression before he listened to what they were saying. How anything was said, told much more than what was said. Despite her unreadable face, he did see something that was interesting.

The adoration was gone.

And then she did something neither Naruto or Sasuke expected, she knelt down in front of the black haired man and began tending to his legs.

"Don't help the bastard, he doesn't deserve it!" spat Naruto.

Sakura started to apply her green chakra to the more serious injuries, and said, without looking up, "He can't walk. I'll stop if you want to carry him."

Naruto said nothing.

"Didn't think so."

Sasuke watched her as she continued to heal his wounds. He'd heard long ago that she'd become the Hokage's apprentice, though he'd underestimated how much good that might have done her. When she was finished, Sasuke noticed that she had healed more than just his legs, she'd also taken care of the deep cuts to the remainder of his body. All that remained was some bruising and scratches. Somehow, this extra care had escaped the dobe's notice, as he was currently taking his pressing anger out on a tree.

"Not a word." She said quietly. Sasuke just glared at her.

"Hey you done yet??" hollered Naruto, who was impatient to get home.

"Yeah," she shouted back, and then turning to Sasuke said, "can you stand?"

Sasuke did not reply verbally, instead slowly got to his feet, his strained muscles screaming in protest. Testing his weight on each foot, though sore, he couldn't feel any cuts or broken bones in his legs, or anywhere for that matter. She'd done a pretty thorough job. Who knew Sakura could be good at something?

Looking around, he saw Naruto had already started along the path that led to Konoha….._home._ Sakura was a short distance away and waiting for him.

"For god's sake, Hurry up!!" called Naruto, who'd stopped to look back.

Once Sakura and Sasuke arrived at the point he was waiting, Naruto's eyes narrowed.

"Where are you other injuries?" he asked.

Speaking like an angry cat that was cornered, Sasuke hissed, "Sakura finally proved she was useful."

Unfortunately for Sasuke, Sakura only a little ahead, had been within earshot. She stopped walking.

"Would you just shut it?" snapped Naruto, sick of his bullshit, he'd used most his energy fighting, "I just wanna get home. Let's go."

"Not yet," hissed Sakura, who was stalking her way back toward them, with an odd gleam in her eye.

When she reached them, she moved so quickly, he couldn't have avoided it if he'd wanted to. Taking her aim, Sakura swung back her fist and punched Sasuke, squarely, in middle of his face. She swore she'd felt the satisfying crunch of bone breaking against her knuckles.

Taking a relieved sigh, Sakura turned to a surprised, but amused Naruto, and said, "Okay, now we can go."


	2. I'm a WHAT?

**I'm a what? **

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

"I don't care what you do" hissed Sasuke, "Just get rid of her!"

Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment, then his eyes lit up and a devilish smile took over. Sasuke stepped back wary, he didn't like that smile, nor did he like it when the same expression was mirrored on Sakura's face, after the dobe had whispered his 'idea' in her ear.

"Yeah, he's one of the better ones." Said Naruto casually.

"He's the best, I've seen. I'm tempted to ask who did it." Replied Sakura.

Naruto raised his eyebrows, "You're looking to get similar work done?"

Sakura gave a small laugh, "Oh nothing like that, but I was considering getting my profile looked at, I don't like the way my nose dips at the end." She made a great show of turning sideways and pointing out exactly what she'd like to get 'fixed.'

Sasuke observed the scene with a frown, he was sure where this was heading, but he'd bet his life he wasn't going to like it.

The shop assistant looked very confused at all of this and asked, "I'm sorry, I don't quite follow….."

Sakura pretended to frown, and then an exaggerated shock over took her features, "Oh, you think Sasuke's …oh no, um……."

Naruto lowered his voice to a stage whisper, "Sasuke isn't your average male, if you get my drift……"

The assistant still looked quite confused, "What are you…."

"Even though he's a "male," he wasn't born one. He's rather sensitive about it, so we don't usually talk about it……. you know….." explained Sakura.

"Oh…" gasped the shop-assistant, "Oh okay…….not a word, got it."

"Thanks," said Sakura with a friendly smile

For the rest of the time they were in the store, the shop assistant was overtly friendly to Sasuke and eager to see to his every need. Although in no way did she ever seek to touch him or did he catch her eyes lingering any where but his own. She was strictly professional.

Once they left the store, Sasuke tried his best at subtlety, "So what did you say?"

"Told her you weren't interested," shrugged Naruto; while he looked around for a nearby food-stand or place that sold ramen.

"Transexuals weren't her thing." Added Sakura, casually.

Sasuke stopped dead in his tracks, "What???? You said…..I was a….." he found he was unable to form a coherent sentence.

Naruto just laughed, and said, "It worked didn't it?? She left you alone." He walked off, heading toward a newly located hotdog stand, Sakura who also found her self quite hungry, followed. Sasuke was still left standing and absorbing the turn of events.

As he replayed what Sakura and Naruto had just said, it would seem that they had indeed just sold him out as transexual.

His left eye gave a manic twitch.


	3. Crap

**You look crap.**

Sakura approached the usual meeting spot of Team 7 with very little enthusiasm. Today was just one of those days where she'd rather, roll over in bed, her back to the morning sun, and go back to a place that cost no energy, denying to the world that a new day had begun.

To her surprise, Naruto was already there, with Sasuke no where in sight. Upon seeing her, he smiled and waved, and then having observed her at a closer range, his features drew into a stunned expression.

"Wow, Sakura-chan, you look like shit!" he exclaimed. He made it sound as though even _he _would have to make a real effort to look as bad as she did.

"Can it, baka. I didn't sleep well." She snapped, then added childishly (she was feeling a little stung,) "I still look better than you!"

Naruto scoffed. "That's because of your anatomy, not your face."

THUMP.

"Hey!!" hollered Naruto, rubbing his now sore head.

Then a poof sounded behind them. Kakashi had arrived. He looked at Naruto and then Sakura. He disguised his immediate shock well.

"Sakura, you look……..worn."

"Thanks for the tact sensei, I know I look a bit scary."

Naruto scoffed quietly. A bit…..That was an understatement. His actions received a glare.

"Don't worry, I've seen worse." Consoled Kakashi, with an eye crinkle.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "You reckon?" He was sceptical to say the least.

THUMP.

"Ouch!!"

Sakura grinned maliciously.

"Don't you get sick of doing that?" he winged, rubbing the now, very sore spot on his head.

"Nope." She said, feeling a little better. Naruto was the best antidote for a bad mood. Couple of pouches and presto! You're happy, well, almost….

"Ten bucks says teme notices too." Goaded Naruto.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, I'm not _that _bad…."

And to speak of the devil, right behind them was Sasuke. He casually made his way to the bridge, and when he reached a certain distance said…

"What the hell happened to you?"

Naruto just grinned and held out a hand for the money.

Sakura just glared at them, "I hate you all."


	4. No more Pantene ProV for you

No more Pantene Pro-V for you.

Sakura at seventeen years old could comfortably say life was pretty good at the moment. She was still training under the legendary sannin, Tsunade to become a qualified medic nin. Team seven after several years of being disbanded, had finally reformed, upon the return of the original third member. Being surrounded by friends and enjoying her training, Sakura found nothing could dampen her spirit.

At times like this, when everything just seemed to work, it is easy to fall in to a state of elated happiness. The symptoms of such include, giddy squeals, fast hand clapping, bouncing up and down, grins that are the width of the entire face and an impervious attitude to all things black. However individual results may vary. A symptom unique to Sakura was the tendency to take the piss out of Pantene ads in the mirror and then fall into a fit of giggles at the sheer stupidity of it all.

And that was what she was doing at the very moment.

Having woken up a little later than usual, Sakura had hopped into the shower, and was now wrapped in towel, brushing her short hair. She could already tell today was going to be, yet another great day. She had plans to meet her team for a training session and then maybe if she could persuade them all, a late lunch at Ichiraku. Once she got Naruto onside, convincing, or more accurately, wearing down Kakashi and Sasuke shouldn't be too difficult.

Feeling an oncoming rush of giddiness, Sakura smiled at her reflection in the mirror and started flicking her hair over each shoulder several times, in perfect imitation of the models on the television. Then before she dissolved into laughter, she said in a mock-serious tone, "Because you're worth it!"

And that was all it took for the laughter to take over.

Finally quietening down, she finished brushing her hair and set the brush on the counter. Only then did she notice that there was an odd draft coming through the room. _I didn't think I left the door open……._

Turning around to check, she immediately let out a gasp and her hands shot to her towel to keep it in place. Because there standing in her bathroom doorway, was Sasuke Uchiha, with the biggest smirk she'd ever seen. That look along told her he had seen everything, and she was never going to live it down.

Crap.

Usually Sakura was pretty good under pressure, coming up with some plausible excuses when necessary, some how though, something told her, no matter what she said now, nothing was going to get her out of this tight spot.

Smirk in place, Sasuke took to folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the doorframe. He reeked of smug superiority.

"I'm not sure it's safe to ask, but what were you doing?" he asked.

Sakura forgot her embarrassment and narrowed her eyes, "What are you doing here?"

"You're late. It was my turn to come and find out why."

"You could have waited outside." She said.

Sasuke's smirk, if at all possible, only widened. "I would have missed the show. Great hair flick by the way."

Sakura scowled at him. "Shut it, emo boy."

"Emo boy?" Sasuke repeated, raising an eyebrow, "I must have hit a nerve."

"Be as smug as you want, I'll kick your ass in training."

"Is it because '_you're worth it?" _he mocked.

Sakura only threw her hair brush at him and told him to get out.

When Sakura finally emerged from the bathroom, Sasuke was no where insight. It was a safe bet that the others already knew.

All it took, upon arriving, was one quick glance at each of their faces, to confirm her worst fears. There really was no chance of forgetting it now.

Naruto was the first to speak, and with a big grin on his face, he asked, "Hey Sakura-chan, do you think I could be a Pantene model too?"

"As if dobe, they'd want people to _watch_ the commercial, not change channels," said Sasuke, then looked at Sakura, with yet another smirk, "Besides, you don't stand a chance against Sakura's hair toss, she's been practising. Haven't you Sakura?"

Sakura scowled at him. Again. She was about to give him a biting comment when, Kakashi spoke. "Hey, what about my hair toss?" He gave an exaggerated sweep of the head and shook his messy silver hair out, acting as if it was a yard long.

This earned a roar of laughter from Naruto and quiet chuckle from Sasuke.

"So do I make the cut?" he asked again, with an eye crinkle.

Sakura seethed at them all. "I hate you all."


	5. Who knew?

**Who knew?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Sakura's first day at her new high school, was not what she'd expected. Having been allocated a seat, she went to introduce herself to the person next to her and was met with this reaction.

"Just so we're clear: I don't like you, or want to date you. So don't talk to me," said her _endearing_ partner.

"Er…you're joking right?" she asked.

The vehement glare sent her way suggested he wasn't. She gave an awkward laugh, then said, "Guess not."

Then there was silence, until…

"But why would I want to date you, when I've just met you?" she reasoned, still confused with his hostility.

Sasuke just stared at her for several long moments, assured this must be some sort of trick. Feeling even more awkward under his scrutiny, Sakura tried again.

"Well?"

Sasuke blinked. She was being serious! She was wondering why he had just told her to leave him alone, and she looked confused too! Could this mean……. Yes, it might just be possible. Sasuke had just met a girl who _wasn't_ in love with him! Who knew such a thing could happen?

Sakura saw his features widen with amazement. Frankly she failed to see what the big deal was. His face then relaxed in to something less gob-smacked. The new expression wasn't friendly, but he wasn't showing the earlier suspicion either.

"You're Haruno, right?" he asked.

Sakura nodded, unsure what to expect. From what she'd seen so far, he had a larger bag of emotions than she did!

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha," he said, introducing himself. Sakura didn't need to know that she was the first girl, who he had willing done so to.

Sakura offered a tentative smile. "Hi Sasuke, please call me Sakura."

And from that day forth, he only ever called her Sakura.


	6. Doing it for the kids

**Doing it for the kids.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

_This means Sakura is talking and **this means Sasuke.**_

"_You're staring again."_

"_**I'm not."**_

"_Yeah, sure."_

Five minutes later…..

"_Would you stop it!!!"_

"_**Stop what?"**_

"_That!"_

"_**What?"**_

"_You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about!"_

"_**I would if you told me."**_

"_YOU'RE STARING!"_

"_**No, I'm thinking."**_

"_About what?"_

"_**Do you think our kid would get your eyes?"**_

Sakura fell out of her chair.

Sasuke shrugged.

"_**You asked."**_


	7. Death

**Death.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

_**(Sasuke, **__Sakura)_

"_Sasuke?"_

"……"

Pause.

"_Sasuke?"_

"……"

"_SASUKE!"_

"_**WHAT?"**_

"_Why won't you answer me?_

"_**You didn't ask me anything!"**_

"_Yes I did."_

"_**You said my name."**_

"_Which is my way of asking for your attention!"_

"_**You've got it. What do you want?"**_

"_Are you afraid of death?"_

"_**You've got to be kidding me."**_

"_Mmmm…nope. I'm pretty serious."_

"_**No."**_

"_No, I'm not serious or no, you're not afra-_

"_**NO, I'm not afraid of death!"**_

"_Oh, ok."_

Silence.

"_Why not?"_

_**Sigh.**_


	8. Why isn't anyone talking?

**Why isn't anyone talking?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Naruto, _Sakura, __**Sasuke**_

"Sakura, is there something wrong?"

"_No"._

"You sure?"

"_Yes."_

"Are you sure you're sure?"

"_You ask me that one more time, you'll be inhaling your ramen through your rear."_

_**Smirks.**_

"Ah, I've heard that one before, besides, I'm worried, you haven't spoken all day-

"_**Dobe."**_

"- and I'm just wondering whether everything is alright, 'cause you're acting bitchier than usual and I think –"

"_**Dobe, I'd stop -"**_

"Shhhh, teme, I wanna know why-"

"_**Dobe, stop talking."**_

"What? Why-"

"_**Because-"**_

THUMP!

"_Too late!"_

An hour later…………..

Sasuke approaches Sakura.

"_**Dobe sent me to ask, "What's wrong?""**_

"_What's in it for you?"_

"_**An entire day of peace."**_

"_Yeah, like that'll happen."_

"_**It's worth a shot."**_

"_Too positive for you, real reason?"_

_**Sigh. "He promised he'd teach me that new jutsu."**_

"_Ah, thought so."_

"_**So what's wrong?"**_

"_Nothing."_

"_**That won't get me the jutsu. Make something up."**_

"_I don't give a shit. If it's so important, _you_ make it up."_

"_**No."**_

"_Then go away!"_

"_**I need a reason."**_

"_NO!"_

"_**This would be much easier if you just gave me a reason."**_

"_For the love of God, I'M MENSTRUATING! Are you happy now?"_

Very long silence……………

"_**I'll make it up."**_


	9. Yank

**Yank.**

He had a death wish.

That was the only logical conclusion Sakura's tired mind could reach. He wanted to die an agonisingly slow and torturous death…

It could be nothing else.

And Sakura thought, _Why deny what he so clearly wanted?_

Then she yawned.

Maybe she could kill him in the morning, when she wasn't so tired. That way she'd be able to enjoy his downfall……

In the meantime…..

YANK!

She hauled at the stolen doona with all her might and managed to get a decent portion back. _Ahhhh_, now she could warm up again. Already the sensation was returning to her feet.

YANK!

_Oooooooh, Cold. Very very cold._

For the second time that night, Sasuke stole the doona.

_Not for long._

YANK!

She was back in warm land again until,

YANK!

"_SASUKE!"_

"What?"

"_STOP HOGGING THE GODDAMN DOONA!"_

"Huh?"

"I'M COLD!"

She heard a smothered grumble and then,

"So am I."

"_Wear thermal underwear then! But DO NOT STEAL MY DOONA!!!"_

"Here then! Now shut up!"

Then there was silence, when he corrected,

"And it's _our_ doona."

Sakura let a loud snore in response.


End file.
